on being a Ho

Ai Tee just wrote about a Ho reunion...
and i was thinking..
i used to be SO PROUD about our family. i looked at my friends... and their families don't laugh as often, talk together, laze around like sun-tanning crocs...survive nasty relatives, explore new experiences..and most of all, have an incredible mother who never ceases to amaze (and even sometimes amuse) us!
i was so proud of being a Ho i had a hard time becoming a Huan!!
then things get rough
we grow up and apart
we see darkness
and our fabric of unity nearly tore ...
BECAUSE
we are forced by our choices
and our circumstances
to grow up, mature, decide again...to cherish being a Ho.

They say it's no big deal being happy with what you are handed
it's a big deal when you choose to cherish what you are handed when you have seen it for all it is

By God's amazing Grace
i cherish being a Ho even more
not because we made it up the rungs of society though we had a rough start
not because we never fight, disagree or despair

but because we have all chosen again and again
to be a Ho

a family that lives by values
treasures and nurtures bonds
experiences and seeks to offer love

a family that will make a difference in this world.

GOD has his eye on us all --
Mother nearly gave it all up
But she stepped back down and came back home to us
Mother positioned us for success by living according to her few clear values

Father never achieved any of his secret ambitions
but somehow he had a sense of responsibility
always there is rice, sugar and his favourite coffee
his simple offerings of being a dad
reining in his smoking
gambling
exploring who God is for himself finally...

and then us ..
{write your own story of grace}

and then our children...
{whose story we get to script a bit of}

HO SAY AH!

a few photos from memorial service

i have an entire CD with all photos still in numbers so i randomly picked a few...thought those who are overseas may want to see this...

Ho's reunion dinner

Yesterday, I was at the Republic of Singapore Yacht Club to board a ferry. While there, I saw a sign "Ho's reunion dinner". My husband said "the Ho Clan". And in TODAY paper, 8 Feb 10, page 2, there was the report titled "Family of 71 digs in".

Full report says:

"If you think organizing everyone's schedules for reunion dinner is tough, the Ho family tops it all. With 71 members in the extended family, they decided to hedge their bets by holding their feast yesterday. And it worked. From the youngest to the eldest, almost everyone in this family of 11 siblings made it for their early reunion lunch at the Singapore Yacht Club - even if the traditional lo hei meal got a little messy. A closely-knit family, the Ho siblings have carried on with this tradition from the time they all lived together in an HDB flat in Queenstown. And this, despite the fact that their parents - whose photos were shown in a slide show at the meal - have since died.

I thought about our family and "well, if they can do it, so can we." Then I thought "what must it take for them to do this year after year"? I guessed there has to be commitment and leadership, among other things. For us, our Ho Family Retreat 2011 will be it!!!

when mom partners GOD till the last..

...
mom has taught us well.
insitinctively we knew this was a time to oull together - to rise up as the HO clan. i felt sure she'd be proud of us - how we offered our best listening, planning, ideas and labor. OUr days were full and we felt tired. But something was surely carrying us all along: i am convinced it is God's answer to the many prayers rising on our behalf.

So amazed at the spiritual and emotional maturity all displayed - it's like we grew up! even while a few of us worried about some relational cracks; there was never fear, condemnation or guilt. Just a quiet moving forward - led by and enabled by the Spirit no doubt.
Mommy saw form heaven what her Father can achieve - even without her active role in it as it were...(mommies always do so much)

You lived well momand you died well too - thinking of us yet again i am sure; you gave in to finality.your stature, strength and influecen in our lives yanked us out of our hovels and set us squarely in His light and before each other...and Grace! we did it!
we stood togehter
we stood side by side
and you,
and YOUwere the centre of it all.

thanks mom
thanks GOD
thanks friends

a lil tradition missing

We meet the cleaner, Pak Cik at the bottom of the block often. usually some chat ensues. Last year when his wife was suffering from cancer, mother went with me to visit her as mother speaks Malay way beyond my 'selamat pagi'.
These days when i meet Pak Cik i am more reticent. At some point, he will ask about mom. i dont feel like talking about it.
And i wish i had a way to braodcast it to him and the many other neighbours i know - and not have to repeat myself.
Perhaps we should keep some traditions: like wearing a small square piece of linen on our sleeves used to signal that we are in mourning.
This way i dont have to suffer the details and people will understand if i am less my chirpy self...

We wore those little squares when Ah Ma (mother's mom) died; but i think with cremation and other changes, we do not do so anymore...

Impact on people who attended

More sharings from those who attended the memorial service:

"the service really touched my heart and I left Grace assembly with a thankful heart for the blessings I received during the service".

"I got to understand in practical ways how a seed has to die for the harvest to take place and how making an event such as this into celebration will make heads turn. It is the first time I have seen and experienced something like this. Praise and exalt Him".

During the watch night service on 31 Dec, one of my church member shared that after listening to mom's testimony, he realized he needed to be more joyful. In his words, "I thought I had it bad as a kid, but Mdm Tan Swee Giok had it bad even as an adult..... yet I found her to be always smiling, joyful".

Here they are: grandma and Ru. i think this is Henry's pool at symphony heights.. so glad mom took up swimming! Besides the fact that it was good for her legs...it's neat for the grandkids!

For the record she stays in the pool longer than I - "li eh kio toe siew chui" - 'yours is called swimming?!' -- coz i go in flap around for 15 mins and exit the pool sans sweat.

Hence it is grandma with Ru !

...Ru misses her 'happening' grandma.